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Dealing with parents dating after death

Much of parenting centers on providing and doing for children, even after they have grown up and left home.A child’s death robs you of the ability to carry out your parenting role as you have imagined it, as it is “supposed” to be.

Anger and frustration are also feelings reported by most parents and are common to grief in general.During the early days of grieving, most parents experience excruciating pain, alternating with numbness — a dichotomy that may persist for months or longer.Many parents who have lost their son or daughter report they feel that they can only “exist” and every motion or need beyond that seems nearly impossible.The death and loss of a child is frequently called the ultimate tragedy. Along with the usual symptoms and stages of grief, there are many issues that make parental bereavement particularly difficult to resolve.And this grief over the loss of a child can be exacerbated and complicated by feelings of injustice — the understandable feeling that this loss never should have happened.Your pain is affecting your emotional and psychological systems at an extreme level — a sense of being on overload is common.

Guilt appears to be one of the most common responses to dealing with the death of a child.

You may find yourself driving and not remembering where you’re going.

Because your mind is trying to process such a huge shock, normal memory functions can be precluded, putting you in a “haze.” You may at times even question your sanity, though you are not crazy.

If your child’s death was accidental, these emotions may be intensified.

You may also be angry that life seems to go on for others — as if nothing has happened.

Parents often experience an upsurge of grief at the time they would have expected their child to start school, graduate, get married, etc.